


shuffle

by miracleboysatori



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Only One Bed in the Hotel Room and We Have to Share it, Practice Kissing, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-25 20:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20730269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miracleboysatori/pseuds/miracleboysatori
Summary: “I, uh…” Tendou starts, smile going wobbly with uncertainty, “could you… pretend to date me?”Ushijima shockingly doesn’t fall backwards, nor does he immediately say ‘no’. Instead he continues staring at Tendou, fear now overcome by even more confusion.





	shuffle

**Author's Note:**

> When I decided to go with the 'tropes' prompt, I didn't realize I was going to pick multiple. But here we are LOL. This fic includes fake dating, oh no there's only one bed and we have to share it, and kissing practice (kinda, you'll see). I genuinely can't believe I've never considered writing UshiTen fake dating before this.
> 
> This was a lot of fun! I think I finished this fic first for this fanweek, just because it was so fun and time flew by while I was writing it. If you're curious, the title comes from ['Shuffle' by Bombay Bicycle Club](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBRL-y3NRZ8).
> 
> I hope you enjoy! As a reminder, I don't have a beta, but I'll look over this in a few days and check for mistakes. For now, I apologize in advance for any that are there. Because of how much and how fast I was writing the past couple weeks, there may be more than normal, but I really hope not!
> 
> Thanks for reading ;; ♡

“So it’s a bet, then?”

Tendou stares wide-eyed at Semi, who’s standing in their shared dorm room with crossed arms and furrowed eyebrows. Sitting cross-legged on his own bed, Tendou makes a few strained noises before snapping his mouth shut. The last few minutes have been sort of a whirlwind, but Tendou doesn’t have to think too hard about his response.

“Yeah!” he gulps, swallowing any of the regret he feels when he looks directly into Semi’s unwavering confidence, “It’s a bet! Name your price!”

“No laptop after ten,” even before Semi finishes, Tendou is ready to protest, “for a _month_.”

“Nope, can’t do it,” Tendou makes an X with his fingers and shoves both hands in Semi’s face, “absolutely not, that’s not _fair_, Eita!”

“Calm down, you get to choose a punishment too, y’know,” Semi interrupts, gently smacking Tendou’s hands out of his face.

Oh. Right.

Well, Tendou supposes he has the advantage here, getting to choose a punishment after Semi has. He’ll make sure his choice is equally as painful for his friend, if not even more so. His tongue peeks out from between his lips as he thinks, calling upon the more sinister corners of his mind.

“Tick-tock, we’ve got practice in half an hour.”

“No hair products for a month!” Tendou spits, immediately satisfied by Semi’s offended expression, “None, not even hair dye, and you can’t steal mine either!”

“That’s -- “

“What, ‘not fair’?” Tendou smirks, cocking his head and reaching a hand out to poke at Semi’s forehead, “Better use ‘em while you have ‘em, huh, Eita-kun? Gotta impress Kenjirou-kun~, otherwise you’ll lose!”

Semi’s lips are pulled in a tight line of frustration, but he doesn’t argue Tendou’s point, “Shut up,” he mumbles, and Tendou doesn’t miss the blush spreading across his cheeks as he turns around.

Thoroughly satisfied, though admittedly a bit terrified by this bet, Tendou follows Semi’s lead and begins packing his bag for practice. He whistles as he does so, both to entertain himself and also to potentially annoy Semi even further. Or maybe it’s to drown out the clouds of doubt already forming in his head.

This whole thing had come about when the two mutually discovered that they had unrequited crushes on other members of their team. Semi says that, apparently, Tendou is “obvious” when it comes to how he flirts with a certain powerhouse ace, but on the contrary, Tendou believes that it’s _Semi_ who’s obvious about his crush on a certain setter with a bad attitude.

Either way, the conversation had dissolved into back-and-forth declarations that one of them would get with their crush before the other. Tendou had pushed it to that point, mostly to press Semi’s buttons, but he admits that he doesn’t really expect himself to ever win this thing. He’s just not sure he has a chance, at least not like Semi does with Shirabu. 

Why does he feel that way? Well… because Ushijima is _Ushijima_. He’s perfection in physical form, a lifeform sculpted from the most beautiful materials in the entire universe, a guy with a long line of people waiting to date him -- and Tendou knows this because he’s actually seen girls line up to give him confession letters and chocolates -- and oh yeah, he’s got a heart of gold and a smile that could rival the sun.

So yeah, Tendou Isn't sure he would ever have a real chance of dating someone like Ushijima, even though they’ve gotten extremely close over the past year. Ushijima has called him his ‘best friend’, and Tendou has reciprocated that title, but he wonders if that declaration was always meant as a way to keep Tendou from expecting anything more. He really doesn’t like to think about that too much, just like he doesn’t really want to give too much power to his feelings towards Ushijima. He cares about his friend, and he’s not inclined to change or get rid of what they currently have.

But, there could be another way to win this silly bet. There could be a way to make Semi feel the harsh results of losing.

As he heads to the gym with Semi, still taking playful jabs at his friend, Tendou lets his mind do what it does best -- think, and ponder all the possible ways he could get around his bet without having to _actually_ do what’s required: dating Ushijima. While that would be the best scenario, he’s trying to be realistic. And a little bit sneaky too.

He thinks he’s got it figured out, but he’ll have to wait until after practice, and he’ll have to wait until he’s alone with Ushijima.

****

**\-----**

After practice, Tendou quickly asks Ushijima, whose halfway through changing, if he can come by his dorm tonight. He spies Semi eyeing him from the corner, probably already sensing that he’s trying to win their little competition, but keeps his attention focused on Ushijima’s stoic expression.

“I don’t mind,” Ushijima replies, tugging a clean shirt over his head, “but you shouldn’t stay too late. You need more regular sleep.”

Tendou glances towards Semi, letting a sly smile tug at his lips before he drawls, “Wakatoshi-kun, always so thoughtful~” and pats Ushijima just above his backside.

Semi says nothing, just rolls his eyes and turns his attention away. Tendou supposes he’ll make his own efforts with Shirabu tonight, but he’ll need a lot of luck for that. Shirabu’s a big grouch if he stays up too late or gets distracted from homework, Tendou knows from experience.

On their way out of the gym, Tendou walks alongside Ushijima, a light skip in his step as his arms swing back and forth and occasionally knock against Ushijima’s much stronger ones. When he senses that they’re alone, Tendou takes his chance to inform his best friend of what exactly is going on here.

“Wakatoshi-kun,” he mumbles, and Ushijima, clearly missing the fact that this is a time to be discreet, turns and gives Tendou his full attention. Tendou lightly laughs.

“I won’t stay long tonight, promise. Just wanted to talk to ya’ about something.”

“I see,” Ushijima looks forwards again, “I don’t understand why we can’t talk here.”

“Because it’s a _secret_, Wakatoshi-kun,” Tendou winks in Ushijima’s direction, “I can’t say it until we’re somewhere alone.”

“But we’re alone out here,” Ushijima responds.

He’s right, he usually is. And that would be annoying if he weren’t so damn cute.

“But that’s no fun! It ruins the feeling of being sneaky!”

Ushijima says nothing, but he’s not protesting, so Tendou takes that as confirmation that he can follow him to his dorm anyway. The walk doesn’t take long; it’s quiet and filled with the gentle sounds of Tendou humming. Tendou doesn’t like silence, but when he’s free to make his own noises to fill that void, and he’s with someone like Ushijima who doesn’t question it even for a second, it’s quite comforting. Being with Ushijima is comforting.

They step into Ushijima’s currently empty dorm and the ace closes the door behind them. Reon isn’t here yet, but Tendou guesses it won’t be long until he comes walking in too. Best to get this thing sorted out before there’s any chance someone would overhear them talking.

“You wanted to talk to me?” Ushijima immediately asks, watching Tendou settle on his bed with all his limbs spread out.

“Ah, yeah,” Tendou stretches, pressing closer against the freshly cleaned sheets of Ushijima’s bed, “c’mere,” he beckons him closer with one hand.

Ushijima does as instructed, walking over to his bed and staring awkwardly at Tendou before opting to crouch down. 

“You can sit up here, y’know,” Tendou offers, gently laughing as he pats the space next to him on the bed.

“I do not want to disturb you,” Ushijima shakes his head, “If I’m here we can talk quietly. Secretly, like you said before.”

Well, he’s taking this much more seriously than Tendou ever expected. That’s cute.

“So,” Tendou scoots closer to Ushijima, eye-level with him even though he’s lying on his side, “I made a bet with Eita, and I need you to help me win.”

“A bet?” Ushijima blinks, and he gets that silly look on his face that usually means he’s a little lost.

“Yep, it’s not a big deal, but if I lose, his punishment for me is really bad, so it’s really important that that doesn't happen, okay?”

“Punishment…” Ushijima mumbles, looking away for a moment, concern filling his face as he lowers his voice even more, “why would Semi punish you? What is he planning to do? Should I inform the school?”

“No!” Tendou laughs, and it comes out louder than he anticipated, “Nonono, Wakatoshi-kun, it’s not like… a _real_ punishment -- I mean -- it _is_ but it’s not violent or anything. But it _would_ be really bad.”

Ushijima stares at him, an uncomfortable look on his face that Tendou thinks is a mixture of fear, worry, and complete confusion. Maybe he should have spelled it out for him in a more accurate and explicit way instead of bringing him to this amount of terror right before bed.

“Okay, ‘really bad’ is pushing it, but -- “

“I will help you. What do you need from me?”

Tendou shuts his mouth, suddenly aware that he has to somehow convince Ushijima Wakatoshi to fake date him for… well, he’s not even sure for how long. He has no idea how to ask someone for this kind of favor, but if anybody would respond well to clear and blunt honesty, it’s Ushijima.

“I, uh…” Tendou starts, smile going wobbly with uncertainty, “could you… pretend to date me?”

Ushijima shockingly doesn’t fall backwards, nor does he immediately say ‘no’. Instead he continues staring at Tendou, fear now overcome by even more confusion.

“Pretend to -- ”

“Date me. I know it’s _weird_,” Tendou nervously laughs, voice picking up pace with his anxiety, “you don’t have to, it’s okay to say no, I can deal with the punishment -- “

“No,” Ushijima interrupts, and at first Tendou thinks that’s his answer. But as quickly as he’s interjected, he continues, “I do not want you to be punished. I will... pretend to date you. I am not sure what that entails, but as your friend I will help you.”

Tendou nearly leaps off the bed and tackles Ushijima to the floor. Instead, he lifts his head off the pillow and grins, reaching forward to ruffle Ushijima’s bangs, “Wakatoshi-kun, you’re the best~”

“I would encourage you to not make bets in the future,” Ushijima suggests, ignoring the fact that his bangs are now a disaster.

“Will do,” Tendou waves a hand in the air, sitting upright, “and don’t worry, I’ll explain how to do this dating -- “

Before he finishes, the door swings open and Reon walks in, gym bag still slung over his shoulder as he greets them both with a wave and a warm smile.

“Hey, what’re you guys up to?”

Tendou smiles back at Reon, thankful that he hadn’t just stepped in mere seconds ago. How awkward would it have been to have to explain this entire bet to Reon as well? Things are going pretty smoothly so far, Tendou thinks. He shifts to the edge of the bed.

“I was just -- “ Tendou starts, but then Ushijima opens his cute but dangerously honest mouth.

“We are dating.”

Tendou slips off the edge of the mattress and plops to the floor with a huff. He slowly turns his head to stare wide-eyed at Ushijima. His new fake boyfriend is still in an awkward crouching position, turned just enough to look at Reon with an earnest expression. Reon looks back at him, looks at Tendou, then looks at Ushijima again.

This is the kind of silence Tendou _doesn’t_ like.

“Oh,” Reon starts, “Well that’s… uh, congratulations. Did you -- I mean, is this a ‘just now’ thing, or -- ?”

“Well, you see,” Tendou immediately answers, hoping to keep Ushijima from saying something silly again, “I asked Wakatoshi-kun to be my boyfriend, and he said yes. That’s all that happened, so now we’re dating, yes, and I’m going to go to bed now.”

“That is what happened,” Ushijima confirms, though it really wasn’t necessary.

Reon looks just as confused as Ushijima previously had. He tentatively puts his gym bag on his bed and backs up towards the door again, “Well, I’m gonna go get a snack. you guys… want anything?”

“Nah,” Tendou shakes his head, waving Reon out the door.

When he’s gone, Tendou whips his head around, looking at Ushijima with huge eyes, “Wakatoshi-kun... ”

“Was that good?” Ushijima genuinely asks.

“It… well, I think that was a little too forward,” Tendou fixes Ushijima’s bangs, “let me handle the questions next time, ‘kay?”

“Alright.”

“Hey,” Tendou senses the disappointment on Ushijima’s face and scoots closer, “it’s okay. You’re doing me a big favor and I appreciate it. You’re my best friend and I’m so glad you’ve got my back. And!” he pats Ushijima on the shoulder, “Felt pretty good when you just announced it proudly like that.”

“I’m glad,” Ushijima offers a small smile, and that’s good enough for Tendou to decide he can leave for the night.

He’s excited to step back into his dorm room with the good news, ecstatic to tell Semi that he has in fact lost, and will have to give up his precious hair products for an entire month. Unfortunately his roommate is already passed out in bed by the time Tendou gets back.

Clearly he hadn’t had nearly as much luck as Tendou tonight.

****

\-----

****

****  


In the morning, Tendou greets Semi with an extra excited ‘good morning’. His roommate immediately looks confused; Tendou’s usually a zombie in the morning.

“How’d it go with Kenjirou last night?” Tendou asks with a lilt in his voice while meticulously styling his hair in the mirror.

Semi gives a vague grunt, “Doesn’t matter.”

“Oh~? You mean you didn’t even get a little kiss?”

“Shut up,” Semi gives his usual counter, using the same mirror to adjust his uniform tie, “it’s not like you did any better.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Semisemi,” Tendou smirks, making eye contact in the mirror with Semi.

His friend pauses, narrowing his eyes, “What -- ”

“This miracle boy,” Tendou presses a finger to his chest, then points it vaguely towards the doorway, “is now dating another miracle boy.”

Semi says nothing, just stares at Tendou with disbelief.

“Go ahead, call us a power couple, I’ll wait~”

“I don’t believe you,” Semi finally decides, turning his back to start packing up his school bag for the day.

“Why not? You don’t trust me? I’m hurt, Semisemi,” Tendou gives an exaggerated pout while finishing off his hair, “I thought you’d be happy for me.”

“There’s _no_ way,” Semi shakes his head as he digs in one of his drawers, “unless Ushijima has been just as lovesick as you this entire time, but I highly doubt that. He’s too blunt for that, he would’ve told you a long time ago, and -- Tendou, where the _hell_ is my hair gel?”

Tendou does a spin in front of the mirror, giving a snarky laugh, “Well~ you lost, fair and square! So I took it hostage!”

Semi quickly turns around and gives Tendou one of his narrow-eyed glares, “Prove it.”

“Text Wakatoshi-kun,” Tendou shrugs, slightly untucking his uniform shirt, “ask him yourself, if you don’t believe me!”

Semi immediately complies, digging his phone out of his pocket and quickly typing a message. He leans against his bed, staring unblinkingly at his screen. Tendou watches him, wanting to see the satisfying defeat on his face when he realizes he’s been beat. 

Unfortunately, he doesn’t get to witness that. Semi’s phone dings, but he doesn’t look satisfied or dissatisfied. Instead he stuffs the phone back in his pocket, then gives Tendou that same suspicious look.

“Not good enough,” he grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder, “you could have paid him off to say that.”

“Wakatoshi-kun is too pure to do something like that,” Tendou laughs.

“Then I want _some_ kind of proof.”

Well. Tendou’s stumped, trying to come up with something that will be adequate proof for his very suspicious friend. But surely he’ll come up with something. Ushijima has been very cooperative so far. 

For now, he ruffles his friend’s unstyled hair, earning him a gentle jab to the side as they head towards class.

**\-----**

During evening practice, Tendou can practically feel his teammates eyeing him, as if they’re waiting for something.

Sure, he knows word travels fast, especially on a team that treats each other like family. Reon seemed less likely to share his knowledge of Tendou and Ushijima’s “relationship”, but it’s very possible that Semi let the word slip to at least one person. 

Tendou imagines it went something like this: Semi, as one of Kawanishi’s best friends, entrusted him with this information. Kawanishi, who tells Shirabu everything, passed that information along. Shirabu probably made a ruckus about it -- something about Ushijima-san surely having higher standards than that -- and cute but nosy little Goshiki caught on. Considering Goshiki’s difficulty keeping anything hush-hush… it was inevitable for everyone to find out.

Nevertheless, he plays like normal. Singing little songs every time he manages a perfect block, poking fun at his kouhai, giving everybody high-fives for even the smallest victories, casually taking Washijou’s reminders to be serious during practice, admiring Ushijima’s form as he slams his palm against the ball and sends it crashing across the court.

It’s a normal session, save for the strange fog of expectation filling the air. 

During cool-down stretches, Semi chooses to take a spot next to Tendou. He’s got that same look of suspicion on his face. 

“Careful, Semisemi, you’ll get wrinkles if you keep looking at me like that,” Tendou teases.

Completely ignoring that jab, Semi mumbles, “You still haven’t proved anything. You’re going to give my hair gel back tonight.”

“I’m not!” Tendou squawks, “I _won_!”

“Did not,” Semi bluntly counters, reaching down to touch his toes.

“Did too!” Tendou leans down too.

“Did not,” Semi stands up straight again, stretching his arms above his head.

“Did _too!_” Tendou follows suit.

“Did. Not,” Semi shoots him a particularly foul stare.

“Did! Too!” Tendou slams his hip against Semi’s, making his roommate stumble and fall to the gym floor.

Wide-eyed, Semi looks up at him, mouth open and probably ready to yell something vicious, Tendou just sticks his tongue out at him and chuckles.

“Tendou! Semi!” Washijou barks from across the gym.

He doesn’t have to say anything else. Both are already standing up straight again, though Tendou nearly lets out a barrage of laughter when he sees how upset Semi looks. He’ll probably get his revenge later, but Tendou decides it’s worth it.

Shockingly, things are calm in the locker room. Looming expectation still fills the air, and it feels like it’s pressing against Tendou’s back the entire time he’s digging through his locker and changing. Things are eerily quiet. It makes Tendou almost afraid to turn around and face his teammates, who he’s sure are all staring directly at him.

“Tendou,” Ushijima’s warm voice cuts through Tendou’s anxiety. He’s holding Tendou’s school uniform tie, “you dropped this.”

“Ah,” Tendou gulps, reaching for his tie as he chances a glance around the room.

Now he can really tell. As much as some are trying to hide it, everyone is staring at both of them, waiting for something to happen. 

Goshiki is sitting on the floor, leaning against a bench and looking up at them with wide eyes. Semi is across the room, especially focused on every movement Tendou makes. Shirabu looks unimpressed, as if he’s trying not to watch, but he’s doing a very bad job of looking uninterested. Reon is giving them one of his knowing smiles as he neatly folds his clothes and puts them in his bag. Kawanishi looks bored as usual, like he’s waiting for a bus that’s ten minutes late. Yamagata is doing a terrible job of hiding his ecstatic grin.

Tendou snaps his attention back to Ushijima, letting his hand linger on his. He searches his face, wishes he could telepathically ask for permission to kiss him or something. Both to prove Semi wrong and also… well, it would probably feel nice, too.

“Thanks, Wakatoshi-kun,” he manages, carefully lifting Ushijima’s hand up and in front of his mouth, “my hero~” he sing-songs, finally pressing a kiss to Ushijima’s knuckles.

He maintains eye contact with his best friend, thankful that he’s not squirming at the feeling of his lips on his skin. Instead, to Tendou’s utmost shock, Ushijima grabs Tendou’s hand and, though much more awkwardly, does the same.

For a moment, Tendou thinks he’s ascended to another plane of existence. Nothing exists in the world except him and Ushijima… Ushijima’s adorably stoic face and the way he just strangely bumped his lips up against Tendou’s hand. He tried, and that alone makes Tendou feel like he’s on top of the world.

A mixture of laughter and groaning slams Tendou back into reality. The expectation that was previously filling the air has all but gone away. Semi’s expression goes from suspicious to something similar to disappointment. Tendou knows Semi well enough to recognize that his disappointment has nothing to do with Tendou’s apparent success, but more so to his own failures. 

It makes Tendou feel guilty, but he can only focus on that for a brief moment until Ushijima’s voice commands his attention again.

“Your hand is very sweaty,” he observes, not even hiding the fact that he’s rubbing his own palm against his shorts.

Tendou laughs, “Sorry,” he slings his bag across his shoulder and gently turns Ushijima’s body towards the door, “I got nervous. Let’s go, big guy.”

“Where are we going?” Ushijima asks, complying with Tendou’s gesture but also radiating confusion.

“Somewhere,” Tendou waves a hand in the air, “not here.”

**\-----**

Tomorrow rolls around, and soon enough it’s already lunchtime. Tendou is shocked by the lack of revenge on Semi’s part, but something about his friend seems very off. He’s much more passive, less responsive to Tendou’s playful jabs, and a bit distant too. Tendou’s guilt is starting to eat away at him; it’s unfair of him to play this game, to have lied to one of his closest friends. But it’s also nice, spending more time with Ushijima, playing an act that he wishes were real life.

And the mere feeling of Ushijima’s hand in his? The gentle press of his lips against his skin? It was so small, so fleeting, but powerful enough for him to dream about it when he went to sleep that night. Tendou wonders if he’d pass out on the spot if he’d ever get an actual real kiss out of his best friend.

Instead of taking their usual spot at a table shared by their teammates, Tendou requests for Ushijima to join him on the roof. He poses it to their friends as ‘alone time’, but explains to Ushijima that he wants to talk about their current situation. And he _does_, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn't fully taking advantage of this little act.

“So,” he starts, plopping down on the concrete and placing his food in front of him, “let’s have a little chat, Wakatoshi-kun.”

Ushijima stares down at the floor as if it’s going to poison his food, “Sitting at a table would have been preferable.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tendou shoves a bite of rice into his mouth, “but _way_ less private. We gotta talk about this little game we’re playing.”

“I see,” Ushijima stands for a few more seconds, then complies and takes a seat in front of Tendou, “I hope I was not too forward in the locker room last night.”

Tendou replies so fast that he nearly chokes on his rice, “No! No no, Wakatoshi, that was _perfect_!” he leans forward, “I think that convinced ‘em, good work.”

Ushijima doesn’t reply, just takes careful bites of his food, pacing himself as always.

Tendou watches him, buzzing with anticipation. He wishes Ushijima had said something about enjoying their exchange last night, wishes he had the courage to ask if he’d liked it at least half as much as he himself did.

“So, uh…” he clears his throat, Ushijima looks at him expectantly, “well… I just wondered… what are your boundaries as far as,” he gestures back at forth between them, “well, _this_ goes.”

“Boundaries?”

“Yeah! Like,” Tendou looks away for a moment, hoping that he’s not blushing, “y’know. I mean, you… kissed my hand, but uh… what would you _not_ want to do? What would make you uncomfortable?”

“Hm,” Ushijima thinks for a moment, taking another bite of his food and staring directly at Tendou as he chews.

Tendou’s not sure if he should take Ushijima’s deep thought as a positive or negative. Is he coming up blank? Or is he trying to compile a long list of things? Despite Tendou’s intuitive abilities, Ushijima can be difficult for him to read sometimes, which can be very frustrating. He waits in anticipation, preparing himself for the worst.

“I am not sure. I am willing to do what it takes for you to feel confident in your victory,” he pauses, “however, I wonder how long this will need to go on. Truthfully, I find the entire situation a bit immature. I don’t understand the point of bets between friends.”

Oh. Tendou tries not to show his disappointment on his face. ‘Immature’? Well… he’s not _wrong_. Tendou’s friendship with Semi has always been a bit immature, but it’s why he loves their bond. Life is so annoyingly serious sometimes, and maybe the point of silly bets between friends is simply to take the pressure off of bigger, scarier things.

“I apologize if I said something wrong,” Ushijima says quietly, looking back down at his food with an expression Tendou can only decipher as slight guilt.

“You didn’t!” Tendou waves his hand dismissively and shoves another bite of food in his mouth, “You’re being honest, you’re good at that. S’why I like you so much. Well, part of why, anyway.”

Ushijima hums in confirmation that he’s heard what Tendou said, but he doesn’t offer any response. It’s one of those moments where Tendou wishes he could dig inside his brain, find out exactly what he’s thinking about and how he might feel underneath all that serious exterior. Maybe that’s why Tendou’s developed such a fondness for Ushijima; that mysterious and stoic aura he radiates is so interesting, so frustratingly hard to crack.

Most people would guess that underneath all of that, there’s only interest in a small number of things -- volleyball, himself, what he’s eating for the day, what time he’ll go to sleep, how much exercise he needs -- that sort of thing. And Tendou would be inclined to agree, but he knows there has to be much more going on in that beautiful head of his. Tendou’s never experienced fear of the unknown, in fact he usually likes to dive right in to things he doesn’t understand. And Ushijima is a prime example of just that. Probably the strongest example Tendou could offer.

“Your food is going to get cold,” Ushijima breaks Tendou from his deep thought, gesturing towards his plate, “you’re usually done before me, are you not hungry?”

Tendou drums his fingers against his thigh, poking at his rice with his chopsticks, “Nah, not really. You want mine?”

“No thank you. I do not want to overeat. I assume you remember what happened to Goshiki when he did that last month.”

Tendou’s darkening thoughts immediately fade away at the memory of Goshiki keeled over in the bushes. As soon as he tries to imagine Ushijima doing the exact same thing, he laughs loudly, nearly falling backwards. When he’s sitting back up he can tell Ushijima’s lost any hint of guilt he’d previously been showing on his face.

“But you’d get to skip practice if you got sick,” Tendou lets his head roll over on his shoulder, watching Ushijima through narrow eyes, “wouldn’t that be nice?”

“No,” Ushijima immediately answers, just as Tendou expected he would.

“Kidding,” he waves the joke off, “anyway, I’ll try to eat a little more, wouldn’t want you to think I don’t listen when you lecture me about my eating habits.”

“I only say those things because I want what’s best for you,” Ushijima reminds him.

The way he says it reminds Tendou of the way his parents told him no when he’d wanted to eat more than one ice cream bar before bed when he was younger. But Tendou knows Ushijima well enough to recognize the emotion behind it, even if his best friend isn’t the best at expressing that. Ushijima really _does_ care about him, and Tendou would never question that. After all, he’s going along with this silly bet, right?

Ushijima’s loyalty might be the one thing stronger than his spike. Or, y’know, his thighs.

“Perhaps we should have a plan,” Ushijima starts again, watching Tendou eat.

“‘Plan’?” Tendou says through a mouthful of food, accidentally spitting some out in the process.

“For moments like last night, in the locker room. A plan would be more efficient instead of having to act on the spot.”

“Oh!” Tendou quickly swallows, “You’re right! That’s uh… kinda what I wanted to talk about earlier, but,” he pauses, trying to decide if he should point out the very obviously awkward exchange a few minutes ago, “... anyway, yeah! What’s the plan, my man?”

“I was going to ask you that. I am less experienced than you.”

Less experienced? Tendou stares at Ushijima, trying to figure out what would give his friend that impression. Tendou’s dating history has been minimal; there were a couple silly week-long “relationships” in junior high, and there’s been no more than two that lasted any longer than a week in high school. Whatever experiences he’s had would never hold a candle to the average student at his age.

And Ushijima? Well… come to think of it, Tendou _hasn’t_ seen him do anything like that with anybody, and he _is_ around him almost all the time. Surely if Ushijima was dating someone he would have asked Tendou to give him some privacy, or at least have introduced him to his significant other, right? But still… with all those confessions and gifts, you’d think he would have had at least one relationship at this point.

“C’mon, Wakatoshi-kun,” Tendou chuckles, “you don’t gotta be so humble.”

“I’m not. I have no experience with this sort of thing,” Ushijima deadpans.

“Wh -- how?” Tendou raises an eyebrow, “There’s always someone confessing to you! Or do you just have crazy high standards or something?” If he did, Tendou would not blame him.

“No,” Ushijima shakes his head, “I just have no interest in it. In dating, I mean.”

Tendou’s not exactly surprised, but to say he’s not disheartened by that answer would be a lie. Not too much, but just enough for his stomach to sink, for him to lose his appetite again. Of course he doesn’t have any interest, why would he? Tendou wonders if anyone on this earth would be a proper match for Ushijima, anyway. 

“No interest, huh?” despite his loss of appetite, Tendou continues shoveling food in his mouth, staring directly at Ushijima for any hints in his expression, “Not even a little bit?” 

“I assumed that’s what ‘no interest’ meant,” Ushijima blinks, and the only thing convincing Tendou that he’s not being sarcastic is the sincerely uncertain look on his face.

Tendou laughs, shrugs. If that’s Ushijima’s final answer then that’s okay, Tendou can respect that. Does it change the feelings he has for his best friend? No, unfortunately not. But that’s okay, he doesn’t _need_ to feel Ushijima’s hand in his, doesn’t _need_ Ushijima to tell him he actually really does like him in that way, he doesn’t _need_ Ushijima to have real, true emotion behind whatever actions he does for as long as this fake dating thing plays out. 

It’s just that… it sure would be _nice_.

“So, a plan,” Tendou drops his chopsticks and they fall into his now-empty bowl with a clink, “I bet they’ll want something bigger next time, otherwise they’ll start to doubt any of this is real, y’know?”

Ushijima stares blankly at him.

“Cause, like,” Tendou averts his stare for a second, eyes settling on another couple standing across the rooftop, “when I told Eita that we were dating, he said he wouldn’t believe me until he saw it with his eyes, having you text him wasn’t enough.”

“He did see it,” Ushijima reminds him, “they all did.”

“Yeah, but,” Tendou tears him eyes away from the couple who are now having a tussle involving tickling, settles back on Ushijima, “a little kiss on the hand isn’t really a big deal, Wakatoshi.”

“What would it take?” 

His sincere honesty is playing with Tendou’s mind. He _could_ exaggerate, tell Ushijima that he’ll have to get down on one knee and loudly proclaim his love for Tendou in front of everybody they know, then kiss him deeply right on the mouth, or he could be honest. But even _he’s_ not sure of the answer to that question. He chews on his lip in thought.

“Maybe… a kiss on the cheek? It’s not quite a full-on kiss but it’s bigger than a lil’ smooch on the hand, yeah?” Tendou suggests, already preparing himself for the likely ‘no’ he will hear.

“That makes sense,” Ushijima confirms, and Tendou’s body feels warm.

“Cool! So next time, do that.”

“Would it be alright if I practiced? I’m not very confident in my ability to successfully do that,” his best friend looks pensive.

“Uh — ” Tendou’s heart skips a beat, or maybe several, “y-yeah! Sure! You mean, like, right now?”

“If that’s alright.”

“‘Course!” Tendou scoots closer to Ushijima, clumsily knocking over his empty bowl as he shoves the empty food tray aside. 

Nerves at a maximum — mostly in concern that he will immediately pass out when Ushijima gets so close to him — Tendou taps a finger against his cheek, “Lay one on me, big guy,” then, when he notices Ushijima’s slight hesitation, he adds, “just do your best.”

Ushijima does, and when he does it vaguely reminds Tendou of the hand kiss he’d received in the locker room. A gentle, careful bump of tightly closed lips against his already warming cheeks. It’s an attempt, and maybe it’s not exactly the best, but Tendou still feels so hot that he’s afraid Ushijima might notice.

Ushijima stays there for a couple seconds and then leans back again, “Was that alright?”

“Yep!” Tendou spits, his voice cracking slightly as he wonders if he’ll be able to bring himself to wash his face tonight, “Very good, Wakatoshi! But, uh, y’know,” he steadies his very shaky voice, or at least does his best, “you don’t have to keep your mouth so tightly closed.”

“Ah, should I try again? I did not want to get your cheeks wet, or make you uncomfortable.” 

_Geez_, he’s giving Tendou way too many opportunities to turn this into so much more than it needs to be.

“If you want!” Tendou shrugs, but he’s almost positive his efforts to hide his pleading expression are failing, “You won’t make me uncomfortable, trust me!”

Ushijima hesitates again, awkwardly parting his mouth and staring at Tendou’s cheek. It’s like he’s calculating everything in his super logical brain, and it’s really, _really_ cute. Then he leans forwards, presses his lips to Tendou’s cheek in a much less clumsy way.

Meanwhile, Tendou can feel his skin tingling, his heart singing, and his brain going foggy with disbelief. Of course he’d expected Ushijima’s lips to be impossibly soft, and now that they’re relaxed, pushing against his cheek, he realizes his expectations have been absolutely fulfilled. He closes his eyes, thinks for a moment about how warm Ushijima’s breath is, about how much he’d love to turn his head and collide his own mouth with his best friend’s, but he stops those thoughts. He’s afraid he might actually do it if he considers it too much.

“Was that better?” Ushijima suddenly asks. Tendou hadn’t even realized he’d stopped kissing his cheek.

“Yeah,” Tendou breathes, opening his eyes and moving them to look directly at Ushijima, “very good.”

Ushijima looks very satisfied. Tendou vaguely wishes he could see some sort of blush on his face too; any sort of confirmation that he’d felt something _real_ and _powerful_ just now would be great. But Tendou knows it’s wishful thinking.

And though it makes him feel selfish, he’s just glad he has the opportunity to feel what he’s wanted for so long, even for a short time.

**\-----**

After a week, Tendou makes an interesting discovery.

Semi has been spending _a lot_ of time in Shirabu’s room. Tendou doesn’t have x-ray vision, though sometimes he wishes he did, so he can’t tell for sure what’s going on in that room, but what he _does_ know is that things seem different.

His roommate seems… happier? More at ease? Tendou guesses maybe he’s finally gotten over the fact that he’s not allowed to use hair products for another three weeks. Which turned out to be a weak and underwhelming punishment, given how strangely normal Semi looks without them. 

It’s not until he catches Semi in the act one day after practice — holding Shirabu’s hand in a way that he’s sure was meant to be low key. 

“What’s this~?” He slinks between them, grabbing their connected hands in his and immediately prompting them to let go.

“Don’t say anything,” Shirabu warns, voice sharp as a knife, “and mind your own business.”

Used to Shirabu’s attitude, Tendou chuckles and pats Semi on the shoulder, whispering in his ear, “You’re a little late, Eita, dontcha think?”

Semi says nothing, just continues walking next to Shirabu and talking to him in a hushed voice. Tendou watches them walk, raising an eyebrow as he tries to figure out if their relationship is just as fake as his. He wants to think it is, just for his own satisfaction, but truthfully he doubts it. Why would they fake? Tendou is smart enough to know that Shirabu would never sink to that level. And besides, Semi’s already lost.

He’s lost, though realistically he should have won.

Ushijima walks up next to Tendou and gently bumps his hand against his, “Are we also supposed to do that?”

“Don’t have to,” Tendou shrugs, surprised by his own passive attitude, but takes Ushijima’s hand in his anyway. This action has started to feel normal now, Tendou’s gotten used to shoving his emotions out of the way and focusing on the need to continue winning this bet.

But why? He doesn’t care _that_ much about not being able to use his laptop, and Semi’s already started to ignore his continued teasing. That’s no fun. And usually, if something isn’t fun, Tendou wants nothing to do with it. 

So why can’t he just let this go? Why can’t he let Ushijima go?

After two weeks, Semi has stopped complaining about losing his hair products altogether. He doesn’t care anymore, the punishment has clearly lost its effect, so what’s the point? And to make things worse, Tendou’s started to feel so sick every night that he rarely even gets on his laptop anymore. In a way, he feels like he’s getting the punishment instead, but it’s not just the loss of his nightly anime marathons, it’s a punishment of intense jealousy and guilt.

When he shoves his laptop to the side and goes to bed every night, Semi will always ask, “You know you won, right?”

Tendou will shrug, laugh it off, and claim that he’s just tired. He’s not sure if Semi actually believes him, but whether or not he does, he’s glad he doesn’t try to pry anything out of him.

The days turn into weeks, and those turn into a month and a half. Semi has his hair products back, Tendou doesn’t have anything to worry about as far as losing his laptop privileges, and the whole bet situation has been all but forgotten. It’s old news now.

And Semi and Shirabu? They’re happy, disgustingly so, Tendou thinks. Always walking around with connected pinkies, ‘studying’ together, making nasty but playful jabs at each other, fixing each other’s hair… it makes Tendou sick. Not because he’s upset with either of them, no. He knows they deserve this, they deserve to be happy and to have each other. 

But maybe he’s a little jealous. Or _really_ jealous.

Nevertheless, he tells Ushijima that they should still keep playing this act, at least for a little while. They’ll get to a point where it dies off, then they’ll tell their friends that they simply lost the spark, that they decided being friends was good enough. That would be believable, right? Things could definitely go back to being normal, Tendou’s sure that Ushijima would have no problem doing that. But on his end, he knows it’s going to be difficult. And maybe that’s why he keeps putting it off.

It’s not like they’ve gotten much farther than cheek kisses and hand holding, apparently that seems to be good enough to keep their teammates convinced of their ‘relationship’. And those things have started to lose their charm since Tendou knows there’s no emotion behind it on Ushijima’s end. He’s all but decided he’ll have to end things, but then something happens, something that he should have expected, but genuinely forgot about. Something that uproots every carefully calculated plan in his head. 

“It’s almost time for our yearly team bonding trip!” Jin announces one day at practice, handing out flyers that give information on what they should be bringing and what the itinerary is, “This time we’re going to the beach, so make sure you pack some sunscreen!”

Tendou’s heart drops when he looks at the hotel room assignments. 

“Soekawa-kun~” he interrupts, “don’t we usually use our dorm room setup for hotels?”

Jin glances at the list, but Reon speaks up for him.

“We thought that since you and Wakatoshi are dating, it would only make sense for you to room together. And Eita is obviously with Kenjirou,” he gives Tendou an odd look, “Is that okay? We can change it if need be.”

“No! Nono, it’s fine! It’s perfect!” He sputters as he grabs Ushijima’s hand, then leans against his shoulder, “Just thought it was too good to be true~”

Yeah. Too good to be true. Just like his involvement with Ushijima.

Needless to say, Tendou is a bit worried. He’s stayed the night with Ushijima before, yeah, but that was always in a team setting. To have an entire night alone with him in a hotel room feels like a huge risk. He’ll be respectful of his best friend’s boundaries, of course, he always is, but he’s not sure he’ll be able to ignore the deep feeling of want in his heart the entire time.

It’ll be fine, it has to be. Everything will be okay, and there should be two beds anyway. That’ll make things easier.

**\-----**

“There’s…”

“Only one bed,” Ushijima finishes Tendou’s statement for him, though he sounds less concerned and more matter-of-fact.

The hotel room is small, and, as they’ve just realized, there’s only one full-sized bed in the center of the room. Tendou briefly wonders how _ecstatic_ Semi must be about this same discovery in his and Shirabu’s room. Gross.

Ushijima plops his bag down on one side of the bed, wordlessly claiming his spot. Tendou does the same on the opposite side, though much more tentatively than Ushijima just had.

“I can, uh,” Tendou starts, and when Ushijima looks at him he almost cracks, “sleep on the floor, it’s alright.”

“Why would you sleep on the floor?” Ushijima asks, looks at the bed, then back at Tendou, “There’s plenty of room for two on the bed.”

_Why_ does he have to be so logical and dense?

“Well yeah, but, I don’t wanna crowd you. Or make things weird.”

Ushijima stares blankly at him. Tendou wishes he could bluntly tell him that he’s too afraid he might, in a half-asleep daze, try to spoon him during the night, or dramatically proclaim his love for him in a moment of weakness.

“Anyway, we should get changed,” he changes the subject, already nervous about having to see Ushijima in a pair of swim trunks and nothing else. Yeah, he’s seen it before, but after all this minor physical affection, his feelings have understandably been a little heightened.

A trip like this would usually be a much-needed moment of relaxation, but this… well, this is all a recipe for disaster. Tendou internally curses Jin and his exceptional trip planning abilities.

Tendou survives, though he doesn’t succeed in terms of keeping his eyes off of Ushijima’s toned chest. His navy blue swim trunks hit right at his waist, tied up and secure. Tendou distracts himself by looking down at his own neon pink shorts with purple stripes. 

“Those are bright,” Ushijima observes, looking down at Tendou’s legs and then back up at his face.

“Yep~ Like ‘em?” Tendou does a pose, winking at Ushijima in the process.

“They are very,” he pauses, narrowing his eyes like he always does when he’s trying to process his thoughts into words, “you.”

Gah. Tendou’s heart swells. Funny how the things that affect him the most now are simply Ushijima’s genuine words, not the physical gestures. He supposes it makes a difference when there’s sincerity behind something.

“I like yours too!” Tendou gestures towards Ushijima’s without allowing himself to actually look at them.

“Thank you,” Ushijima glances down at himself, “They are old, I was afraid they would be too small.”

Well. That explains why Tendou thought they might be riding a little high in the thigh region. Wasn’t just his imagination.

As they head for the beach, Tendou keeps an eye out for their teammates. Reon and Jin are already setting up a beach volleyball net, Goshiki is enthusiastically watching them, holding on to a volleyball as if it’s his security blanket. Yamagata has already made it into the ocean, teasingly splashing Kawanishi who is avoiding getting too close to the water. And Semi and Shirabu —

“Figures,” Tendou hisses under his breath, watching the way his roommate is slathering sunscreen on Shirabu’s back. 

Great. Now, of course, he’ll be expected to do the same. Which is fine, Tendou’s put sunscreen on Ushijima’s back before, but back then it was simply a friendly gesture. Back then he didn’t have a huge unrequited crush on his best friend. Now he does, and now he’s going to have a hard time thinking about anything besides feeling the lines of Ushijima’s muscles while he does it.

“Hey!” Reon greets them, lifting his sunglasses and waving in Tendou’s direction, “You guys made it!”

Ushijima nods while Tendou confirms, “Yep!”

“We were starting to wonder if you guys would ever leave your room,” Jin innocently explains.

“Yeah,” Kawanishi drawls, and Tendou can already sense what he’s about to say, “having a good time in there?”

“Yes,” Ushijima answers before Tendou can say anything, “we were comparing swim trunks.”

Kawanishi turns and holds in his laughter. Goshiki looks between the three of them, genuine confusion filling his face. Tendou blushes with the heat of a thousand suns

“Well, anyway,” Jin clears his throat, “we were gonna play a round of volleyball! Might wanna get sunscreen on, though. Don’t wanna go back to school with sunburn.”

“Right,” Tendou agrees, looking over at Semi and Shirabu again before grabbing Ushijima’s hand, “let’s go, Wakatoshi-kun~”

As soon as they get near the pair of setters, Semi looks up at them, raising an eyebrow, “Need something?”

“Sunscreen,” Ushijima requests, “protection from the sun is important.”

Shirabu wordlessly hands Ushijima the now half-empty bottle. Semi continues working the product into Shirabu’s back, probably a little more than necessary. Tendou internally gags at the way Shirabu looks to be vaguely enjoying it. 

“Where would you like to sit?” Ushijima asks Tendou, olive hair practically shining in the sunlight.

Tendou takes the opportunity to tear his eyes away from Ushijima, scanning the beach and pointing to a spot closer to the water but still just shy of its tide, “There okay?”

“Of course.” 

Spot claimed and towels laid out on the sand, Tendou stretches out on his own and sighs happily. He’s always liked being in the comfort of sunshine. He closes his eyes, feels the warmth on his cheeks, lets his body relax, feeling like he might just take a nap right here and right now. That would be nice. A welcome escape from his currently very confusing and awkward situation.

Suddenly it’s dark. Tendou opens his eyes and finds Ushijima leaning over him, holding up the bottle of sunscreen, “You should put this on before you sunbathe.”

Right. 

Tendou jolts upwards, “Yeah! ‘Course! Always my savior, Wakatoshi-kun~”

Ushijima hands him the bottle. Tendou squeezes a good amount into his hands and begins coating himself in it. He’s learned from experience that, unfortunately, he burns very badly and very easily, so it’s always crucial for him to get every inch and crevice of his exposed skin. It’s just unfortunate that his back is included in that. He’s always been flexible, but not nearly to _that_ degree.

Ushijima, who’s already covered himself as well, watches Tendou struggling to reach beyond his shoulder blades, “Would you like me to get your back?”

“Uh —” Tendou starts, suddenly feeling like his skin might erupt in flames (and not from the sun).

“Could you also get mine?” Ushijima asks, gesturing to his own with his thumb.

“Yeah!” Tendou’s voice cracks and he nearly falls face-first against the sand as he readjusts himself to face Ushijima’s back, “I’ll get yours first!”

And now here he is, sitting directly behind Ushijima’s beautifully sculpted and toned back, hands hovering above tanned skin dotted with just a few large freckles. Tendou looks at them, tracing an invisible line with his eyes that connects them to each other, like a roadmap taking him across every stunning hill and valley of Ushijima’s skin. Tendou licks his drying lips, takes a deep breath —

“Did we run out of sunscreen?” Ushijima asks, glancing back towards Tendou.

“N-nope!” Tendou fumbles for the bottle next to his knee, squeezing out more than enough product and covering his palms, “We’re good!”

Though he’s genuinely excited about being able to do this, it still takes every ounce of Tendou’s willpower to allow himself to press his hands against Ushijima’s shoulder blades. He shouldn’t be allowed to do this, he thinks. It’s the thought of Semi and Shirabu potentially noticing this very awkward situation that gets him to finally start spreading the sunscreen against Ushijima’s back.

Thankfully, he finds that the barrier of product between his and Ushijima’s skin makes this entire situation a lot easier. It’s much simpler to treat this as just a friendly gesture as opposed to something much more. It’s just _sunscreen_, they’re just _friends_, even if they’ve convinced their teammates otherwise. It’s not that deep, Tendou thinks.

It’s still hard, though. Ushijima’s gentle humming while Tendou smooths his hands across his back makes it even more difficult. There’s a question on the tip of Tendou’s tongue, he knows he has to keep it sealed away tightly behind his teeth, he can’t let it out, it would be detrimental and —

“Feel good?” 

His mouth betrays him. Tendou tightly closes his eyes, bites down on his tongue, and cringes at himself. 

“Yes,” Ushijima says, easily and simply. Tendou decides not to put too much thought into that answer.

“That’s good!” Tendou sputters, covering the last bit of Ushijima’s back — the lower part, the sneaky part of his brain must have subconsciously saved the best for last.

Finished, and quite thankful that he didn’t pass out or say something awkward (or at least, even _more_ awkward), Tendou scoots back to his own towel and sighs. Ushijima takes the bottle of sunscreen in his hand and moves to Tendou’s towel too. What is he —

_Oh._

Of course, Tendou thinks. He was a fool for thinking the hardest part was over. He can hear the click of the bottle opening, the sound of Ushijima evenly coating his hands with sunscreen… it’s not that much but he’s already got goosebumps. 

Ushijima’s palms collide with Tendou’s upper back, forcefully but gently smoothing across his shoulder blades, his neck, down his spine, just above his backside… Tendou’s skin tingles and his eyes slowly close. It takes every shred of control in his body to try and keep his mind from wandering to places it really shouldn’t. In a perfect scenario, he would reach back and pull Ushijima’s face closer, encourage his fake boyfriend to kiss his neck and his shoulders, then maybe he’d turn around and kiss him back, ask him if they could take this thing further and actually make it real.

But, of course, that _isn’t_ reality. In this universe, Ushijima has just finished covering Tendou’s back with sunscreen, and he’s sitting on his own towel again. Tendou glances over at him, choosing not to turn his whole head, he’s blushing way too profusely. Instead he trails his eyes down from Ushijima’s face, studying the muscles in his arm, the farmer’s tan that covers his skin, then trailing further and resting his stare on Ushijima’s hand. 

He’s held his hand several times before this and yet, for some reason, he’s having a difficult time reaching for Ushijima’s right now. He’s afraid it would be too genuine, maybe it would feel too real, maybe Ushijima would instantly be uncomfortable and confused. Or maybe he’d remain oblivious. 

Tendou weighs his options, palm sweating against his towel when he thinks about intertwining his fingers with Ushijima’s, squeezing his hand in a wordless declaration of so many feelings. It would feel good — _really_ good — but maybe too good. 

“Are you alright?” Ushijima, whose always been very good at breaking Tendou from his deep thoughts, stares at him with genuine concern. 

The wind gently whips Ushijima’s bangs against his forehead, and suddenly Tendou finds that he’s staring directly into Ushijima’s face. There’s words on the tip of his tongue, things he wishes he could tell Ushijima without feeling like he has to ruin everything they currently have.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, then repeats it with more enthusiasm, “yeah! Just… I dunno, tired maybe.”

“Make sure you get proper rest tonight,” Ushijima suggests, looking back towards the volleyball net that Reon and Jin have successfully put together, “were you planning to play a match?”

“Nah,” Tendou waves a hand in the air, “but you go ahead! I’ll watch!”

Ushijima gives him one last look, something between concern and curiosity, but then he’s standing and heading for the net. Tendou watches him go, fiddling with the drawstring of his swim trunks. He could play too, sure, but suddenly he’s feeling a little sick. 

A little sick and a lot disappointed.

**\-----**

Oddly enough, Tendou’s appetite seems to be completely absent when the team goes to dinner together that night. He picks at his grilled fish, hardly listening to the conversations going on around him. Ushijima’s plate is nearly empty, so clearly he’s fine. Everyone else is laughing and talking about the day, and generally Tendou would be at the center of that. But lately he just hasn’t felt like himself.

“Tendou-senpai!” Goshiki, who’s sitting across from him, attempts a whisper but utterly fails at being quiet, “Are you feeling okay?”

“Huh —” Tendou looks up from his plate, fixing his wide eyes on Goshiki’s bright expression, “Why?”

“Your food,” Goshiki points at Tendou’s fish, “you haven’t eaten much.”

“Ah, yeah,” Tendou glances around the table, thankful that no one else has caught on to this exchange. They all appear to be having their own discussions, “Just not that hungry, Tsutomu.”

“Oh!” Goshiki nods so hard that his bangs fly in the air for a second, “I see!”

He keeps staring at Tendou’s plate, eyes practically shining with desire. Tendou is perceptive, but Goshiki also isn’t very good at hiding anything. He slides his plate across the table, earning him an excited noise of surprise from his kouhai.

“Thank you!” Goshiki bows his head, nearly colliding with the table, “Thank you, senpai!”

“Don’t mention it,” Tendou waves his hand in the air, but Ushijima, sitting right next to Tendou, is reaching for the plate again.

“Tendou, you need to eat,” he declares, giving Tendou another one of his concerned looks, “perhaps the reason you don’t feel good is because you aren’t eating enough.”

“I’m fiiiiine, Wakatoshi-kun,” Tendou insists, once against pushing the plate towards Goshiki, “seriously.”

Ushijima doesn’t look convinced. In fact, he looks quite upset. Not angry, just… maybe a little annoyed.

Goshiki looks back and forth between the two of them, hands awkwardly hovering above the plate, “Um —”

“Go ahead, Tsutomu,” Tendou smiles, “it’s all yours.”

Tendou hates that Ushijima looks so concerned, but he’s glad that the rest of the team appears to still have no idea of this entire exchange. No, Semi and Shirabu look quite content on the other end, sitting much closer than anyone else at the table. Tendou’s stomach sinks a little bit more.

“Wakatoshi-kun,” he leans towards Ushijima, mumbling next to his ear, “I think I’m gonna go back to the room.”

“Why?” Ushijima turns his entire body to face him, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Tendou does his best to sound as convincing as possible.

Ushijima narrows his eyes, “You’re worrying me today.”

That does it. Tendou’s stomach does a flip and he bites his lip in an attempt to keep from throwing anything up. Not that there’s much in his stomach anyway. Ushijima really _does_ look worried, and it’s absolutely killing Tendou and confusing his emotions.

“I’m…” he stands, trying to do it as quietly and low key as possible, “yeah, I’m gonna go back. I’m okay though, I promise. Just enjoy yourself, Wakatoshi.”

Ushijima watches him go, trying to stifle any questions his teammates are suddenly asking about Tendou leaving the table. Almost instantly, Tendou’s phone dings with a message from Semi, something about ‘trouble in paradise’. Tendou ignores it, shoving his phone deeper in his pocket while doing his best to fight back tears that he doesn’t really want to deal with right now. 

He never expected things to get this bad, never expected to feel so much as a result of his own determination to win. _Stupid_ determination, too. Over a silly little punishment and his own pride. Or maybe he was just so determined to know what it would be like to actually feel Ushijima in ways that he never thought possible, but that was stupid too. Stupid and selfish.

Tendou holds his breath as he walks through the hotel hallway. The door to his and Ushijima’s room easily swings open after he swipes his keycard. He locks it behind him; Ushijima has a key too, though Tendou almost wishes he didn’t. After his sudden departure from dinner, he’s sure tonight will be even more awkward. Ushijima will, understandably, be full of questions and a need to know what’s going on. And Tendou, of course, will be too weak to hold everything in anymore. 

He supposes it would be easier if he just fell asleep ahead of time.

**\-----**

The soft buzzing of the hotel door’s lock wakes Tendou from a very light sleep. He can see the flashing green light across the room before the door swings open; it’s dark but he knows Ushijima’s just walked in. He could try and close his eyes again, fake being asleep, but he’s almost certain Ushijima will be ready to talk. And maybe that’s what needs to happen: a good talk.

Ushijima flicks on the lamp beside the door, crossing the room and digging through his bag to pull out a change of clothes. Tendou averts his eyes. Ushijima usually just changes right on the spot, probably because he knows his teammates have all seen him practically naked several times before. Tendou wonders what it must feel like to be so blissfully unaware and careless of other people's thoughts, good or bad, regarding one’s physical appearance. It’s definitely not a luxury he’s ever had, and though its gotten much easier since childhood, he finds his insecurities are still present in his brain sometimes.

Ushijima tugs on a pair of joggers and an old tank top, neatly folding his dirty clothes and shoving them to the corner of his bag. Before he can turn around and face the bed, Tendou closes his eyes again, hoping he won’t notice.

“Tendou,” Ushijima quietly says his name, gently placing a hand on his shoulder, “are you awake?”

Tendou’s fears get the better of him. He’s too afraid to look Ushijima in the face right now, too afraid that his emotions will get the best of him and he’ll spill out everything in his brain that he _knows_ he needs to keep locked away. He keeps his eyes closed and waits for the hand on his shoulder to go away, listens for the sound of Ushijima crossing the room again to enter the bathroom. 

Ushijima goes through his routine -- brushing his teeth, washing his face, setting out clothes for the following morning -- before he actually steps back over to the bed again. He flips on the nightstand lamp this time, sliding under the sheets next to Tendou. It’s funny how easy this seems, given how stressed Tendou had been this morning about having to share a bed with his best friend. Tendou just keeps his body turned outward, away from Ushijima.

The sound of Ushijima’s phone being plugged in and the immediate darkness that comes from him flicking off the lamp tell Tendou that he’s safe, he’s avoided the potentially awkward exchange that would have happened just now. Course, he’s only delaying the inevitable at this point. He knows this, knows that it’s childish to keep avoiding it, figures that it might not even be that big of a deal if he just gets it over with, but --

“Satori,” this time Ushijima’s voice is directly behind Tendou’s ear, soft and low, “I would like to talk.”

Tendou’s heart beats against his chest as he tries to decide if he should keep being stubborn or actually do what he personally believes is the more responsible thing. 

“If you would rather not, I understand. However, I would like for you to let me know.”

Chewing on his lower lip, Tendou shifts slightly under the sheets, ultimately deciding he’s not going to turn to face Ushijima.

“Thought I’d fool ya’,” he jokes, almost too aware of how quiet the room sounds compared to their voices.

“I know,” Ushijima replies, and Tendou’s thankful that he doesn’t sound upset in the slightest, “but you were shutting your eyes very tightly, it was obvious that you were faking.”

Tendou laughs, gently, surveying the darkness of the room before rolling over to lay flat on his back, “How perceptive of you, Wakatoshi-kun.”

“I don’t think it’s that I’m perceptive,” Ushijima is laying on his back too, Tendou can tell. And even if he couldn’t tell, he would guess that he was; he always does, “I’m just aware of when you aren’t acting normal.”

“Do I ever act normal?” Tendou jokes.

“Yes,” Ushijima pauses, his voice is so sincere that Tendou knows he should mentally prepare himself for something unintentionally sweet, “normal for you, anyway. It’s quite strange when you aren’t yourself.”

“Mm,” Tendou hums, focusing on the humming of the air conditioner.

He’s painfully aware of just how close Ushijima’s hand is to his right now; the heat radiating off of Ushijima’s skin is always too warm to ignore. Especially when Tendou always feels like his own is just a little too chilly for comfort.

“Are you alright?” Ushijima cuts through the silence. 

Tendou bites his lip, holds his breath. Unfortunately there’s no simple answer to this question, he can’t just give Ushijima a ‘yes’ or ‘no’. He’s not even sure if he himself knows the answer to that question.

“You said you were alright at dinner, but I wasn’t sure if that was a lie to keep our friends from being concerned.”

Wow, Tendou thinks, he really _has_ gotten more perceptive. Still, he doesn’t immediately answer. He takes several seconds in the dull, dark silence to think about what he should say.

“Yeah, Wakatoshi-kun,” he finally mumbles, “I’m alright. Not good, not great, not horrible, not dying or anything, just,” he sighs, “alright.”

“I see,” Ushijima shifts slightly and the bed creaks in response.

“How’re you?” Tendou glances towards him, barely making out the line of his profile in the dark, “Are _you_ alright?”

“I believe so.”

Something tells Tendou that there was more to that answer, but he’s sure that Ushijima’s filed it away inside his brain somewhere, he’s probably decided it’s not important enough to discuss.

“Good. You’re probably tired, huh? You guys played a good game today, was fun to watch,” Tendou holds back a laugh, “especially when Eita took a ball to the face. S’what he gets for not paying attention and staring at his boyfriend instead.”

“He’s lucky that it only grazed his cheek. But yes,” Ushijima softly chuckles and Tendou can feel the vibrations of it through the sheets, “he should pay more attention next time.”

Tendou laughs too. Suddenly he doesn’t want to go to sleep; he feels so comfortable in this moment, sitting up late at night like this, talking with his best friend. His heart aches for something more, of course, but truthfully… this is okay. Just being able to call Ushijima his best friend is more than enough.

“Hey, Wakatoshi,” Tendou mutters after several seconds of complete silence, “I think we should -- ”

“Yes,” Ushijima interrupts, as if he’d been waiting with bated breath for Tendou to even say anything, “I thought you might bring this up.”

Tendou turns his head to fully look at Ushijima, who’s still laying flat on his back with eyes trained up on the ceiling. 

“Huh? What, are you some kind of mind reader now?” Tendou teases, but dials it back when he can practically see the nerves radiating off of his best friend.

“After our previous conversations and interactions, I had a feeling that this would come up eventually,” Ushijima reaffirms, pausing only to rotate his body and face Tendou’s, “truthfully, I was hoping to bring it up first.”

Ah. Tendou’s heart sinks. Of _course_ he would have wanted to bring it up first. He’s probably been extremely uncomfortable this entire time and said absolutely nothing about it, just for fear of hurting Tendou’s feelings. Tendou internally curses himself; he should have known better than to let this go on for so long. He can feel the familiar sting of tears coming back to his eyes at the simple thought of having put Ushijima in so much stress. It’s not fair, it never _was_ fair to play this game and to put Ushijima’s comfort on the line.

“Could we practice again?” Ushijima finally requests, much to Tendou’s confusion.

Tendou exhales loudly, “Practice? Wakatoshi, you know you don’t have to do this,” he laughs, probably as a way to hide the genuine pain in his voice, “_we_ don’t have to do this anymore, we’ve got a perfect out tonight! Listen, we’ll tell them we had a little argument over dinner, I went back to the hotel, you followed me and we talked things out, then we decided we just wanted to be friends. It’s perfect, see? No more faking and lying,” he slows his voice, catches his breath, “you don’t have to do it anymore, okay?”

Ushijima doesn’t say anything, just stares back at Tendou, who wishes there were some sort of light in the room. Maybe then he’d be able to read that face of his.

“But -- ”

“Wakatoshi, please,” Tendou interrupts, “the bet is over, there’s no more punishments or anything. You did what you did and I’m very, very thankful, but I don’t want to keep doing this to you.”

Silence again. Ushijima is still staring at Tendou, body unmoving as the air conditioner continues humming.

“It’s late and --”

“I want to,” Ushijima finally cracks, “I want to practice.”

“Wakatoshi-kun,” Tendou lovingly sighs, “I told you --”

“I know, the bet is over and we don’t have to do this anymore,” Ushijima confirms, “but I… still want to try, if that’s alright.”

“Try…?”

“Kissing,” Ushijima clarifies, and as soon as he says it Tendou’s body freezes up, “I want to try kissing you.”

“Wh…” Tendou’s mouth is incredibly dry, “...why?”

“I don’t know, but I would like to. If you are comfortable with it.” 

If he’s comfortable with it? Tendou is _more_ than comfortable with it, of course, but he’s _less_ comfortable with the idea of feeling like he’s manipulating Ushijima into something he doesn’t actually want. Sure, Ushijima’s the one that’s specifically asking for this, but who’s to say Tendou didn’t somehow steer him into that decision? There’s no telling, and unfortunately there’s no possible way for Tendou to dig into Ushijima’s brain and decipher what exactly went into making this decision.

“You’re not just doing this for me, right?” Tendou lifts his head up off his pillow.

“No?” Ushijima follows suit, then sits up straight against the headboard, “I have thought about this for two days now.”

_Two whole days?_ Tendou feels like he might pass out all over again.

“Oh, uh -- well, alright,” Tendou laughs nervously, also sits up straight.

“Is it okay, then? If we kiss, I mean?”

Tendou has to hold back the enthusiastic and loud ‘yes’ that his brain wants to yell. Instead he offers a calm but shaky response.

“‘Course! It’s, uh -- not a big deal, people kiss all the time for all kinds of reasons, it doesn’t have to mean anything!”

“Could you lead this time?” Ushijima requests.

“Y-yeah! Um,” Tendou fidgets in place, fingers toying with a loose string in the sheets, “like, now, or…?”

Generally, he’d have no problem whatsoever over initiating a kiss. But with Ushijima it’s different, there’s so many concerns in the back of his mind. Will he be too forceful and scare Ushijima away? Will he do a very bad job and hardly impress his best friend? Will he be unable to hold back the sheer amount of feeling he has for this guy? Will he mess up so badly that his best friend refuses to speak to him?

Regardless, Ushijima doesn’t seem too concerned, beyond being a little nervous from inexperience. He just nods, confirming that Tendou has the freedom to do what he’s asked.

“Alright,” Tendou rotates his body to face Ushijima’s, shifts to his knees and rests a hand on his best friend’s shoulder for leverage, “let me know if I need to stop, ‘kay?”

“Mhmm,” Ushijima hums, body tense.

Tendou takes a deep breath, licks his unfortunately dry lips. He brings his free hand up to rest on Ushijima’s neck, gently encouraging him to lean forward. At this point, there’s only a couple of inches between their mouths, but Tendou still feels the need to confirm once more that this is okay. As always, Ushijima says it is. 

Closing his eyes, Tendou presses his lips to Ushijima’s. As expected, he’s keeping them tightly locked and in a straight line. It’s awkward, sure, but in a way it’s charming, just because it’s what Tendou expected. 

“Relax,” he whispers right against Ushijima’s mouth, “you’re always so tense, Wakatoshi-kun.”

“Nervous,” Ushijima explains in a breathy voice, but as soon as his lips are parted, Tendou’s taken advantage and pressed against them again.

He thought the feeling of Ushijima’s lips on his knuckles and his cheek was amazing, but this… this is on a whole new level. He’s not giving much back right now, but that’s okay with Tendou. Just the softness of his skin and the taste of his minty breath are more than good enough. Besides, Tendou’s been told he’s a good kisser, and he wants to give back in return for Ushijima giving him so much for the past month.

Ushijima awkwardly reaches out for Tendou, resting his hands on his sides. Tendou keeps his hands on Ushijima’s shoulder and neck, squeezing gently in response. He pulls away for breath after several seconds and rests his forehead against Ushijima’s.

“How was that?” he whispers, though he thinks he might know the answer based on Ushijima’s reluctance to let go.

“It was,” Ushijima breathes, “very good. Should we try again?”

Tendou chuckles, nerves completely washed away at this point, “Really? Wakatoshi-kun, am I dreaming right now?”

“No,” Ushijima glances at the alarm clock on the nightstand, “however, I didn’t realize how late it was. Maybe we should --”

“Ah-ah,” Tendou waves a finger in front of Ushijima’s face, “I thought you wanted round two?”

Ushijima, even though his need for proper rest typically comes first, pauses for a second before giving in, “I do. After that.”

Tendou doesn’t need to be asked twice.

So they have a round two… then a round three and a fourth as well. Okay, so maybe there’s a fifth too. By the middle of the third, Ushijima’s loosened up, allowed himself to give back with as much force as Tendou is. And by the fourth, Tendou’s encouraged him to slide his tongue against his, allowed himself to rest comfortably in Ushijima’s lap. It’s starting to feel normal, but not in a bad way. Not in the same way that all that hand-holding had started to feel normal and lost its charm.

No, this feels normal in the sense that Tendou thinks they should have been doing it a long time ago. 

Ushijima’s actually quite good at it, once he’s loosened up. And he’s clearly not put off but how forceful Tendou likes to be sometimes. Even still, it’s a little awkward when they settle back into their places in bed, staring up at the ceiling again. 

“So, uh,” Tendou decides to break the strange silence, “_why_ did you want to do that, exactly? I’m not _complaining_, of course, but,” he laughs, “wow, I’m confused.”

“I wasn’t sure,” Ushijima hums a little, “I just knew that I wanted to do it, for some reason.”

“Worth it, then?” Tendou turns to look in his direction.

“Yes,” Ushijima answers easily and quickly, then hesitates before continuing, “I have enjoyed our exchanges over the past month. Much more than I anticipated.”

Tendou blushes; he can’t believe he’s hearing this right now.

“Really? Man, I thought I was putting you through hell, Wakatoshi-kun.”

“You weren’t. If I’m honest, I would like to continue. But I know your bet is over and there’s no need for it on your part anymore.”

Tendou jolts upwards, looking down at Ushijima with wide eyes and mouth agape. Ushijima just blankly stares back.

“Wakatoshi! I -- you --” he stutters, waving his arms in the air as if trying to physically grab the words he needs, “I like you! I like you _a lot_! Like… damn, I’ve never liked someone this much -- wait, I don’t want that to sound weird. Anyway, yeah, the bet is over but -- _gah_, my feelings aren’t! I _really_ like you, Wakatoshi, and you saying you want to continue… I don’t know what you mean but if you’re insinuating that we could…”

“Stop pretending?” Ushijima blinks, expression still blank, “That’s what I’m suggesting.”

“Did you just --” Tendou’s breath catches in his throat, “Wakatoshi-kun, did you just ask me to date you?”

“Yes? I thought I was being clear.”

Tendou has lost all sense of reality. He pinches himself multiple times and feels like he might collapse forwards. Fortunately, Ushijima’s big, strong body is there to catch him when he does. Tendou shoves his face against Ushijima’s chest and groans.

“Is that a yes or a no?”

“Yes!” Tendou lifts his face, laughs with pure joy, “It’s a big yes! You’re just --” he makes a strained noise, frustrated that he can’t scream about how happy he is right now, “so cute! And I can’t believe those words just came out of your mouth!”

Ushijima smiles, and Tendou can’t keep himself from kissing him all over again. He’d do it all night if he could, but Ushijima is quite staunch about getting proper rest.

With the knowledge that he can just keep doing it tomorrow, for real this time, Tendou is more than happy to comply.

**\-----**

“Morning! We got coffee for everyone!”

Jin warmly greets Ushijima and Tendou as they walk towards the beachside cafe the following morning. Tendou eagerly takes his cup, stirring in a large amount of cream and sugar.

“Everything alright?” Semi asks from the table next to his and Ushijima’s, eyebrow propped up in suspicion.

“Hm?” Tendou eyes him as he takes a long sip, “Yeah, why?”

Shirabu gives Semi a look of disbelief, Semi gives it right back.

Shrugging, Tendou leans his head against Ushijima’s shoulder, closing his eyes as the early afternoon breeze blows through his hair. Reon and Ushijima are having a conversation, but he’s blissfully unaware of whatever it is they’re talking about. He’s on cloud nine today, still riding the high of finally being asked to date his best friend.

“Things are alright, then?” he vaguely hears Reon asking Ushijima.

“Yes,” Ushijima responds, “we are actually dating now.”

Tendou’s eyes instantly open and he nearly spits out the coffee in his mouth.

Dammit. 

“Wait…” Reon starts, but he’s instantly interrupted by Kawanishi.

“Pay up,” the middle blocker requests, holding an open hand out towards Yamagata, who begrudgingly places a pile of coins into Kawanishi’s palm.

Tendou slowly gets up from his chair, aiming to step away to the bathroom for a moment without being seen. Of course, his plan instantly fails. Semi latches on to his shirt and tugs him back over to their table.

“Satori! You better explain yourself before I throw you into the ocean.”

“We were faking!” Tendou declares, loud enough for the entire team to hear, “We faked it! We fooled all of you!” he sticks his tongue out, “But it’s real this time, so suck on that!”

If looks could kill, Tendou knows he would be dead two times from both Semi and Shirabu’s stares.

Ushijima still looks completely at peace with everything, sipping innocently on his coffee.

“No laptop for two months,” Semi hisses.

“Hey, no fair!” Tendou pouts, “I won! Even if it was fake, I still won!”

“You _didn’t_!” Semi stands, shoving Tendou towards the sand, “You ass!”

Tendou laughs, letting himself be pushed into the sand. He wraps a hand around Semi’s ankle and tugs him down with him. Despite knowing that his entire team is now aware of the truth, he’s still feeling incredibly lucky over the way last night went. So, really, a little tussle in the sand with Semi is no big deal. Two months without a laptop at night? Easy. he’ll just retreat to Ushijima’s room instead.

“Did he pay you to say that?” Reon quietly asks Ushijima, watching the two third years playfully wrestle in the sand.

“He did not,” Ushijima watches too, “I was the one who asked him.”

Reon laughs, patting Ushijima on the back, “Hey, whatever makes you happy.”

With no real winner declared, Tendou and Semi finally decide to set aside their differences and sit back down at the cafe. Tendou scoots up close to Ushijima, grinning, “Can’t believe you just blurted that out. Again.”

Ushijma picks at Tendou’s hair, trying to get rid of all the sand, “I wanted to say it for real this time.”

Cute.

Tendou sighs, squishing his cheek against Ushijima’s shoulder and closing his eyes again, “Well, you made me get in a fight, so now you gotta aim for Semi’s face again when we play volleyball later,” he teases.

Ushijima says nothing, just drapes an arm across Tendou’s back and squeezes his shoulder. Truthfully, Tendou doesn’t care if he has to undergo any silly punishment now, at least he’s got Ushijima to fall back on. He’s always had him, of course, but now he feels like he _really_ has him on an even stronger level. 

No more fake kisses and empty affection, no more lying and pretending. This time it’s real. And to Tendou, it feels like he can finally breathe again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought, I love any and all comments. Also feel free to reach out to me on twitter, I'd be honored if you wanted to talk to me! (esp about tendou, ushiten, or shiratorizawa in general!) ♡
> 
> art twitter: [tendouaf](http://www.twitter.com/tendouaf)  
main twitter: [ushitentxt](http://www.twitter.com/ushitentxt) (I'm most active here)  
tumblr: [tendou-satori](http://www.tendou-satori.tumblr.com)  
art blog: [kat-doodles](http://www.kat-doodles.tumblr.com)


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